Happy Birthday, parking ticket

I got a letter from the government the other day. Well, not the government, specifically, but the esteemed law firm of Linebarger Goggan Blair & Sampson, LLP, who claimed to be working for the City and County of Denver in the capacity of leg breakers.

It appears I was cited for a parking meter violation near my place of employment and have failed to pay my $40 ticket. This is a situation, Linebarger Goggan Blair & Sampson all feel, should be dealt with immediately. If not, their client reserves the right to seek interest, attorney’s fees and other collection costs at any time.

Fair enough — except for that fact that I violated said parking meter nearly SIX YEARS AGO! In fact, I received the notice in the mail on November 25, just eleven days before the anniversary of that December 5, 2002, day.

Happy Birthday, parking meter violation.

So here’s what I want to know:

How do I know this isn’t a scam? Isn’t there a statute of limitations on this kind of thing? Why now, in the midst of this financial crisis, is The Man trying to get my $40? Couldn’t he have asked for the money on the fifth anniversary of my ticket, or even the fourth, back when I could have easily refinanced my house to pay off parking tickets for me and all my friends? Hell, back in ot-4, I had plenty of money to waste – and that would have only been two years after the fateful day.

No, they waited six years before tracking my ass down, and now I have to pay the piper; sleep in the bed I made; reap what I sowed; dance with the one what brung me.

Still, I have used my connections in the media to locate a secret source within the city’s Public Works department to find some answers – answers that I will reveal whenever I get them, whether that be this week, next week or in 2014.

In the meantime, does anyone have $40 I can borrow? – Jonathan Shikes