Audio By Carbonatix
Because of an office construction project, I had to clear off my desk — which meant moving seven years of accumulation. Every morning, I’ll share another uncovered item with you.
Sometimes people ask me, “Sheehan? Why are you keeping all those boxes of carb-free muffin mix at your desk? Or what about the jars of pickling spice and sleeves of golf balls?”
Mostly I just tell them to shut up and mind their own business. What a man chooses to hoard is his own business, after all. But the truth? For those of you who remember the picture of my desk pre-cleanup, I think the answer is obvious. I lived in constant fear of being buried alive under a landslide of old newspaper clippings, take-out menus and liquor bottles. And when the day inevitably came when some heretofore undiscovered fault line in my filing system let go and trapped me under a crap-alanche, I wanted to make sure I had enough emergency supplies on hand to survive comfortably until a rescue was organized. And while I wasn’t precisely looking forward to living on dry pancake mix, rubber cheeseburgers and pickling spice, at least it would’ve been better than eating the golf balls.
Or the low-carb muffin mix.
When news happens, Westword is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
We’re aiming to raise $50,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to this community. If Westword matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
