Dear Readers: I don’t like to rerun columns, ’cause it makes me look like a lazy Mexican, but as my column invades foreign terrain (Steamboat Springs!), I realize that new readers might not understand some of my commandments. Following, then, are the two most frequently asked questions about the Mexican’s…
¡Ask A Mexican! Dear Mexican: Representative Chris Cannon of Utah, also known as Mr. Amnesty, one of La Raza’s heroes, was trounced in the Utah primary by a relative unknown who is from the Tom Tancredo school of immigration reform. Poll data shows that Cannon’s immigration stance was a major…
Dear Mexican: What is an anchor baby? I am a 45-year-old male born in the USA. My mother was born in ex-Yugoslavia (now Serbia), and my father was also born in ex-Yugoslavia (now Croatia). My father arrived in this country via a green card about four years before I was…
Dear Mexican: I am a chica struggling with the choice to come out to my parents about my sexual orientation. My family is Catholic, and my parents are old-school. While we are very close, I am scared of how badly this can go. My parents have been living in the…
Dear Readers: The Mexican’s new book, Orange County: A Personal History, is in your local bookstore on September 16 — by puro coincidence, Mexican Independence Day! In honor of and to shamelessly promote my muy caliente libro (which deals with America’s Gomorrah, the Reconquista and John Wayne), I’m answering a…
Dear Mexican: I’m an illegal alien. Got here on a tourist visa and stayed for a job. My gabacho employer knows about it and doesn’t give a crap. I don’t apologize about it, as ever since I can remember, the USA has meddled around other countries’ business like it owns…
Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans paint stripes on their donkeys in Tijuana? Avenida Revolución Reveler Dear Gabacho: Same reason we put worms in tequila bottles, celebrate Cinco de Mayo and star in Beverly Hills Chihuahua: to cheat gabachos out of cash. To paraphrase the classic dictum: A gabacho and his…
Dear Mexican: I am the proud uncle of five Mexican-redneck kids who recently moved to Wisconsin with their mamá wisconsiana after living in la Capirucha all their lives. I’ve talked to them on the phone several times a week since they left for la tierra de los sueños materializados, and…
Dear Mexican: As a Mexican, I’m always ashamed of the fact that a lot of Mexican women just come to the United States to have babies and to utilize this country’s welfare. I know a lot of them who just keep having children, and they do not pay a dollar…
Dear Mexican: Where I recently started working, Latinos make up about 95 percent of the work force. We are, however, prohibited from speaking Spanish. Our supervisor tells us that if we can speak so much as one word of English, we cannot speak in Spanish. We are constantly being threatened…
Dear Mexican: What’s with calling yourselves “La Raza”? Being Mexicans, Chicanos or whatever isn’t enough — now you’re the race? Sounds pretty racist to me.The Race Is On Dear Gabacho: Few things annoy the Mexican more than the Know Nothing Nation’s deliberate ignorance of this most nebulous of Mexican idioms…
Dear Readers: Gracias, merci, obrigado for the many submissions in our contest asking readers to argue in 25 words why corn tortillas are superior to flour, or vice versa. Below are the winners for some of the cities that carry the Mexican; see the full list at www.westword.com. Don’t like…
Dear Mexican: Why are there Mexicans in the Border Patrol? What a hypocritical thing to do to our people.Carne Asada Carlos Dear Wab: Not only are Mexicans in the Border Patrol, but la migra’s own figures show that Latinos make up about 52 percent of its force, comfortably outnumbering gabachos…
Dear Mexican: What’s the fascination that Mexicans have with Elvis?Good Roceando Tonight Dear Gabacho: Your question is spot-on, but it’s taken a while for Elvis to achieve icon status among Mexicans. As recounted in Eric Zolov’s Refried Elvis: The Rise of the Mexican Counterculture, the King largely sparked the roots…
Dear Mexican: Whenever I have a debate with my Chicano hermanos who support open borders and get angry at any type of immigration control, they don’t seem to understand the basic laws of economics, such as the fact that migrant workers who pick fruit, work in construction and do other…
Dear Mexican: What do you think would happen if U.S. citizens could buy land and set up businesses in Mexico as easily as Mexicans can in the U.S.? Might that be a big boost to the Mexican economy? There are provisions in the Mexican Constitution that prevent this, but what…
Dear Mexican: I recently went to a Los Angeles Dodgers game. There are always rivalries in any sport, of course, pero the white people cheering for the St. Louis Cardinals clapped and cheered when their team did something good. When the Dodgers did good, the Mexican fans — mostly homeboys…
Dear Mexican: This might be a seasonal question, but why do Mexicans like swimming in their clothes? Is it a Catholic thing? I remember my pocho Catholic cousin even bathed at home in his T-shirt and underwear through his adolescence. He claims the nuns told him it was a sin…
Dear Mexican: First it was the Native Americans, then the blacks, then the Japanese. For a while, Muslims. Now I fear that American prejudice will soon overwhelm Mexicans. It’s one thing to be called a dirty Jap or border-hopper, but is it possible that America will cause another ethnic group…
Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American, but I always lie and tell people my ancestors were from Spain and immigrated to the United States in the 1920s. My whole family says this. We feel embarrassed if we tell people that our heritage is Mexican because Mexicans in the USA are so…
Dear Mexican: Why did the comedian Cantinflas never catch on in Hollywood? I thought he was supposed to usher in the Mexican wave of actors and movies that would help transform Hollywood.El Curioso Dear Curious: Do people even know who Cantinflas is anymore? For those of you not familiar with…
Dear Readers: My recent column regarding the dissimilarities between Scots and Mexicans provoked a surprising number of responses — both from Irish readers and real Scotsmen furious that letter writer Great Scot could be so pendejo. Here are two: Dear Mexican: I thought the Mexican’s analysis was right on with…
