Dear Mexican: Please settle a dispute. I’m an Anglo living and working in Mexico for years, in Culiacán, Sinaloa (I married one of the famous Sinaloa beauties). My Spanish is passable, and I live and function in Spanish. Where I live, there are virtually no other North Americans, other than…
Dear Mexican: Why does every Mexican rap/hip-hop song always contain the lyrics “No paramos,” “Nunca paramos,” or some other logically equivalent statement (e.g., “Siempre avanzaremos,” “No acabaremos de seguir,” etc.)? Can’t you people be more original? I mean, come on! It’s not like you all speak a language that makes…
Dear Mexican: You seem like a smart guy, and your input regarding an ethnic phenomenon I’ve observed would be of interest. I live in a tiny, gated neighborhood that I would describe as solidly middle- to upper middle-class. On each side of me live Vietnamese small-business owners whose kids attend…
Dear Mexican: I grant you a magic wand; now, tell me, how do we right the wrongs of Sam Houston and Manifest Destiny? Is it to correct his legacy and call out the crimes and recognize the victims? Or should the land be given back? What is it, my fellow…
Dear Mexican: I’m a blanquita, and I’ve recently begun dating a CALIENTE mexicano. I adore this man. The first time we were intimate, I noticed that his necklace (which I had always assumed to be a rosary) was a name necklace…a WOMAN’S name necklace. He says that his mami gave…
Dear Readers: Rather than me punking ustedes with a prank for April Fools’ Day, I give you the cruelest joke of all — ex-congressman and eternal Know Nothing Tom Tancredo! In return for his graciously allowing us to debate in Denver last year, I’ve allowed him to answer two questions…
Dear Mexican: I often read your babosadas here in New Mexico. Now, let me get this straight: You appear to be a bright guy who claims to have the Mexican people all figured out, right? To you, we are all 5’6″, medium-complected, and we all pray to Moctezuma to come…
Dear Mexican: Why is it que cada vez that I talk to a Hispanic (not many Mexicans in New York yet), it seems that they have a fantasma that they think lives in their house? I know that Carlos Mencia has used this in his material, but I wonder if…
Dear Mexican: When the Second World War ended, the Germans and Japanese had to return all territories they had acquired by force. The U.S. acquired most of the West by force from Mexico, due to the war with Mexico. Agreed, the U.S. won the war with Mexico, but did that…
Dear Mexican: I am a mocha-skinned woman with long, curly hair and dark-brown eyes. Puerto Ricans always ask if I am Puerto Rican; Dominicans just come and start speaking Spanish; Cubans ask if my abuelita made good arroz con leche — but Mexicans know I’m black. What gives? La Morena…
Dear Mexican: The perception of Mexico having a defective culture has come up in your column several times. It’s most important to point out the historical differences. The United States was invaded by settlers who came to live here permanently. Mexico was conquered by gold-seeking thugs who wanted to return…
Dear Mexican: I’m a white, rural, ninth-generation Texan who left the farm and is now a lawyer for a large corporation in one of the largest cities in the state. Maybe a quarter of the clients they assign me speak Spanish, so the company’s paying for me to learn Spanish…
Dear Readers: Although many of you have loved and/or loathed my columna for years, the Mexican still finds new readers every week in the unlikeliest of spots (hola, Chattanooga! See you in August, inshallah!). As a result, I sometimes receive questions about the methodology of the column, questions that everyone…
Dear Mexican: My gabacho friends look at me askance for being a gabacho who enjoys mariachi music. They, and even some of my Mexican friends, run and hide when I go a step further and start listening to the mournful ballads of Vicente Fernandez, backed up by — you guessed…
Dear Mexican: A few years ago, I moved to Tucson. In said city, I noticed that there were little piles of stuff accumulated on the medians of the main roads. It looks like what was Dia de la Muertos paraphernalia — I’m not so gringo as to not know what’s…
Dear Mexican: I’m not Mexican (or from a Spanish-speaking country), but I get mad when the gabachos in my town say that all Mexican girls do is take drugs and get pregnant, drop out of school and end up on welfare. I know a lot of Mexican women who haven’t…
Dear Mexican: I think I have a Mexican problem. In short, I have a home in sunny California on a property with an abundance of agave cactus and Century plants growing along the street. Every year for the past twenty years, five to ten cactus leaves (three to four feet…
Dear Mexican: I was today alerted to the problem of trash dumped on the Sonoran Desert in Arizona and am trying to track down more articles about the issue. That is how I found you. There are lots and lots of piles of trash — looks like clothes — in a…
Dear Readers: Wish I could say I was back on the rancho, but you know how that drug war of ours (both Mexican and American) is going, so the Mexican decided to stay home for the holidays for the first time in decades. Besides, there’s too much work at mano…
Gustavo Arellano and Tom Tancredo met on the Su Teatro stage in November for a far-reaching discussion of immigration. At its conclusion, Arellano invited Tancredo to pen a guest column for the April 1 Ask a Mexican; in the meantime, the former congressman has offered this: Last month I participated…
Dear Mexican: I live in a moderately fancy-ass suburb of Dallas, am super-white and make decent money. Naturally, I have a Mexican gardener/lawn dude who works his ass off, has fourteen brothers and sisters in Guanajuato, employs all his relatives, etc. He also has a sweet wife and three little…
Dear Mexican: Someone wrote you a while back wondering why Mexicans have made a mess of their beautiful country. You got all bent out of shape because he called Mexico a Third World country instead of a “bottom tier” First World country. I think you missed the point of the…
