It’s July in Denver, which means that once Independence Day is done,  we will enter the lazy days of summer, when everyone is either vacationing, anticipating getting out of town, or regretting that they took time off back in June when it wasn’t so damn hot. But that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing to do here — or at least, no rules to follow.

Walliver, Water World’s new mascot, joins a lineup of Colorado mascots good and bad. Here are the five best and the five worst.

The politics of holiday celebrations are, in a word, weird. Who in the world decides that this or that day is a holiday of some sort? Barring some sort of religious, traditional, or lunar reason for a holiday’s placement on the Western calendar, there seems to be no rhyme or reason for any of it. We touched on this earlier in the month when our latest Tips for Transplants mentioned that June—not July, for some reason—is Fireworks Safety Month. But since then it’s come to our attention that there are a lot of dubious holidays that almost dare us to recognize them.So what are the least important holidays of summertime? Here are ten days on the holiday calendar that we invite all our readers to join us in ignoring completely.

June is the month for a lot of things: it’s Celibacy Awareness Month, National Bathroom Reading Month, and somehow Fireworks Safety Month, which clearly seems like a month too early.  You have to wonder what sort of power and money the Fireworks lobbyists must have to have kept that out of July, when apparently it’s Do Whatever with Fireworks Month. But of course, it’s also the first month of summer, so here are ten things for you to remember in June—along with your SPF 100 sunscreen and some shades that don’t make you look like you’re trying too hard.

May in Denver is nothing but transition. May can be anything. May will be what you want it to be, or at least what it wants to be. May is snow and sun, outdoors and in, the promise of warmth to come and a reminder of the winter (that wasn’t). May is that friend that always agrees with you, even when you know for a fact that he or she definitely doesn’t. So yeah…May is great to hang with, but really, you can’t trust it.

April is the cruelest month, or so says the poet T.S. Eliot. But good ol’ T.S. never visited Denver in April, when it’s sunny and potentially snowy, where the wind is blowing in the warmth of the coming summer, and when people are inadvisably starting to wear Crocs, which go against all sense of fashion and decorum. (Actually, that last part is pretty cruel. Score one for the poet.)

This past weekend, United Airlines cited a totally not-made-up ban on spandex and refused to let two young girls board flight in Denver because they were wearing leggings. (Sorry, Spider-Man. Put on some freaking slacks.) Then it doubled-down on the decision, somehow connecting it to the fact that the young ladies were flying as “pass travelers,” meaning they were there as guests of employees and had to adhere to the no-spandex policy. This public relations incompetence rivals that of Sean Spicer.

Developers are getting manic about renaming parts of our booming city, sometimes for easy reference, sometimes to boost property values. Recently, RiNo leaders were startled by a proposal to give Brighton Boulevard a shiny new moniker that will reflect its status as a gateway to the city; they’re still trying to put the brakes on that.

After the success (meaning: lack of violent uprising) that was Denver’s response to Cherry Creek Mall charging an hourly rate for parking, the newest entity to embrace the idea is Boulder’s Chautauqua Park. The plan, which Boulder is hoping to pilot this summer, would charge drivers $2.50 an hour (which is reportedly double the rate for parking in the rest of the city of Boulder) to park not just in the lot at the main trailhead, but along Baseline Road and even in the surrounding residential neighborhood.