This week’s most ridiculous trailer: Takers

It's a good thing the explanation comes early: "We're takers, gents; that's what we do for a living," some English guy says. And then, just in case we didn't quite grasp it, Idris Elba helpfully elucidates: "We take." With that out of the way, we can get down to the...
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It’s a good thing the explanation comes early: “We’re takers, gents; that’s what we do for a living,” some English guy says. And then, just in case we didn’t quite grasp it, Idris Elba helpfully elucidates: “We take.” With that out of the way, we can get down to the business of crunk beats, a little preview of Tip “T.I.” Harris’ seriously wooden yet somehow still creepy performance, multiple explosions and even more explosion sound effects. It’s not the most ridiculous trailer we’ve seen (that distinction goes to Piranha 3D), and The Last Exorcism put up a pretty good fight, but Takers ultimately takes (yuks!) this week’s honors. Let’s take a look.

There’s an awful lot of punching that takes place in this trailer, and while that by itself is not necessarily out of the ordinary, what is curious is that almost every time somebody punches somebody else, it immediately cuts to an explosion. Punching not badass enough for you? Try punching that’s also a fucking explosion! Apropos, despite the otherwise copious punching-related action, note that there is one character who conspicuously does not punch anybody: Chris Brown. (Must… avoid… Rihanna… joke.)

Probably the most interesting thing about this trailer is that its true moment of absurdity comes unusually early — exactly 10 seconds in, to be precise, when there occurs in the first instance of dialog the inexplicably spliced-in sound-bite of someone saying only “money.” Watch it a few times. It just keeps getting more baffling. Even so, there’s a lesson we can take from that one potent word: Don’t let this movie “take” (okay, now I’m sorry) it from you.

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